Feeling like a failure

It's the 26th and I've only written 35,500 words this month. I have no chance of finishing on Wednesday, not without missing a couple of days from work, and probably not even then. I am glad I got that much done, but I let myself down. I should have written more this weekend. I should have written more, period. It was a lot easier to write in November, probably because it was the early part of the book and the stakes weren't so high. Now I'm at the end of the book and I want it to be perfect. That's slowing me down more than any other factor. I wish I could just finish this thing and get on to the rewrite stage. I am going to hate this book before I'm done if this keeps up.

Onto other things... After playing with Harley and the laser pointer he came up lame the next day. He must have hurt his foot while running around in the dark. He wouldn't put his foot on the ground most of the next day and was still limping into the following day. I guess that wasn't as good an idea as I thought it was.

I took him out with me yesterday to try sledding for the first time. We had about 4-5 inches of snow and it was good, wet snow so it was really slick. He liked it when I let him run around, chasing me, but he didn't like riding on the sled. On the other hand, he jumped on Dad's back, and rode him down to the bottom of the hill. Unfortunately, I had already put the camera away, so I didn't get that taped. The snow is already mostly melted today, so no more sledding. I hope we get one more sledding day this year. Last year we only had two sledding days. I want more!

I finally saw the finale of Beauty and the Geek tonight. My favorite guy, Nate, lost, but he was happy about it. He felt that the only way that his horrible partner (my word, not his) could learn anything from the experience would be if she lost. So he told all of the housemates to vote for the other team. I love that boy. What a great heart he has.

2,700 Words

2,700 Words... that's how many I need to write every day between now and the end of the month to make my goal of 50,000 in February. I was sick most of this last week and so I did no writing. Yesterday my computer broke down and I spent 12 hours getting it working again. Needless to say, I didn't get any writing done then. I wrote 5,700 today, so that helped me catch up a little bit, but I'm still about 9,000 words behind schedule. At this point I will be happy just to finish the first draft, whether I hit my word count or not. I am close, but at the moment I have them written into a corner, literally, and I haven't figured out how to get them out. I think I'll sleep on it and see what my dreams come up with. They might as well help me rescue them, since it was a dream that gave me the idea for this book in the first place.

I was very tempted to quit on the whole idea of writing this last week. I hate getting so depressed and dreary. It always looks so lame and ridiculous when I look back on it, but at the time the feelings are so intense and real that there is nothing remotely funny about it. I think I need better drugs... the legal kind of course.

You know what I love? Ice cream in winter. Doesn't it just make you smile? I prefer it to ice cream in summer because it doesn't melt so fast and you can enjoy it longer. Of course, some people think it's too cold, but cold doesn't bother me. We've had temperatures in the low teens around here, and I have only worn my coat once. Then again, I did end up sick last week. Maybe there is a connection. Nah....