Arguing

Dad and I went on another walk tonight, but on the way to the B&A trail we got in an argument. He insisted that we had walked north yesterday while I had spent most of my lunch hour looking at maps of the trail and knew for a fact that we had gone south. The trail runs from Annapolis to Baltimore and we walked south from the Marley Station Mall to Jumpers Hole road. However, the simple, hand drawn map I had printed showed the mall south of Jumpers Hole road and Dad kept insisting I had to be wrong. I finally blew up at him after explaining less and less patiently that the map was wrong... that I had looked at three official maps for an hour that proved I was right... that logically it was impossible for us to have gone North... etc, etc, etc. I was really rude finally, and I am sorry about that, but I think I know why I overreacted.

Everyone who knows me, knows that I will NOT argue about facts unless I am 100% sure I am right. I have had too many unpleasant experiences with siblings who love to make me feel stupid if I'm wrong, to ever take a chance arguing about stuff I can't prove. But my own father doesn't know that about me? That bothered me. I don't care about the map or the facts, I knew I was right all along, but that's not the point. If he knew me half as well as my most casual acquaintance at work he would know to trust me if I state an absolute fact. He could have trusted me over the crappy map, but he didn't.

Sometimes I don't think we have a good relationship at all. I love him and I know he loves me, but we don't seem to connect like Mom and I do. I wish we did, he means a lot to me. It's not just because he's a guy that we don't connect. Most of my best friends are men and I never have a problem connecting with them. While I was growing up my dad was a fabulous listener. Whenever I would be really upset my dad would be the one to listen to my problems and offer advice or comfort or both. But now he just tunes me out. Can you love someone and still not care about them? I wonder.

Walking with Dad

With Ren Fest only 11 days away, I have got to get serious about getting ready. I dropped off my Ren Gear at the cleaners (I couldn't face all of that ironing) and I'll pick everything up next Thursday. They might as well store them instead of me, right? I have my Fairever pass and I psaltery all ready to go. I need to practice the psaltery and juggling, but it's not the end of the world if I don't.

Mostly I'm worried about all of that walking, up and down hills, for 18 hours a weekend. I have been sedentary for the last year and I'm not sure I'm up to it. So Dad and I and Harley went walking on the B&A trail tonight. We did almost 3 miles and I didn't get tired at all until the last half mile. That's not a bad start. I'd like to go every day this week and next so I'm as ready as possible for the 25th. Then I'd like to keep doing it almost every day until my birthday because Harley needs the exposure to strangers, bikes and other dogs before his new obedience class starts. Isn't it great that his class starts on my birthday? Tomorrow I'm going to carry a water bottle and a spray bottle. A water bottle for drinking and a spray bottle for Harley. I can't seem to get his attention off of the bikes and other dogs, but I am sure the spray bottle will do the trick. Besides, he got a little overheated tonight, so it won't hurt him to get a little wet. Not that he'll see it that way...