Feeling like a failure

It's the 26th and I've only written 35,500 words this month. I have no chance of finishing on Wednesday, not without missing a couple of days from work, and probably not even then. I am glad I got that much done, but I let myself down. I should have written more this weekend. I should have written more, period. It was a lot easier to write in November, probably because it was the early part of the book and the stakes weren't so high. Now I'm at the end of the book and I want it to be perfect. That's slowing me down more than any other factor. I wish I could just finish this thing and get on to the rewrite stage. I am going to hate this book before I'm done if this keeps up.

Onto other things... After playing with Harley and the laser pointer he came up lame the next day. He must have hurt his foot while running around in the dark. He wouldn't put his foot on the ground most of the next day and was still limping into the following day. I guess that wasn't as good an idea as I thought it was.

I took him out with me yesterday to try sledding for the first time. We had about 4-5 inches of snow and it was good, wet snow so it was really slick. He liked it when I let him run around, chasing me, but he didn't like riding on the sled. On the other hand, he jumped on Dad's back, and rode him down to the bottom of the hill. Unfortunately, I had already put the camera away, so I didn't get that taped. The snow is already mostly melted today, so no more sledding. I hope we get one more sledding day this year. Last year we only had two sledding days. I want more!

I finally saw the finale of Beauty and the Geek tonight. My favorite guy, Nate, lost, but he was happy about it. He felt that the only way that his horrible partner (my word, not his) could learn anything from the experience would be if she lost. So he told all of the housemates to vote for the other team. I love that boy. What a great heart he has.

Bummed

I really wanted a lot of snow, but we haven't gotten it. The big bosses told us we could go home at 2:00, but I was the only one in my department who had left by the time I got out of there at 2:30. The drive home was uneventful, there was not much snow, just a lot of ice. The roads I drive on are mostly freeways, though so they were all clear. Maybe a miracle will happen and the snow will pile up overnight, giving me a snow day. It won't happen, but I can dream.

I have been teaching HTML on my lunch hour at work and last week one of my coworkers came to me and asked if I could help her with a website for the ice cream parlor she and her husband own. The two gals in my HTML "class" agreed to help her and so we created her site. You can see it here... Carousel's Ice Cream. She's pretty happy with it and she is going to give it to her husband as a Valentine's Day gift. I guess if I can't have love of my own I can contribute to someone else's. (bit of self pit there, ya think?)

I have been watching Beauty and the Geek and I am happy that Nate is going to the finals tomorrow night. I like him so much. He reminds me of my old friend, Chris. He's kind and unassuming and yet very sexy. Unfortunately, his partner in the game is a selfish, mindless, thoughtless, classless loser and if he wins she wins. I don't know whether to root for Nate or root against CeeCee. Maybe there could be a compromise, Nate wins and CeeCee gets hit by a bus. That works for me.

I got only 1500 words done yesterday and just over 400 today. I'm going to have to throw all of that out, too, which stinks. But, according to the rules, even if I can't use it, it counts. The ending of this stupid book is taking longer to write than half of the rest of the book. While I was driving home tonight, I came up with another solution to some of the problems I'm having with the ending. I should have come home and started writing while I was still excited, but first there was dinner, and then we watched TV and then I watched more TV and now it's almost 10:00 and all I've accomplished is emptying out some of the shows on my TiVo. I get so mad at myself. It's like when you know you shouldn't have those cookies, but you just can't stop. Then all of your hard work gets wasted. That's the story of my life. Wanna read it?